


An Imperiling Incident in Inclemency

by kedgeree



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Bickering, Christmas, Driving, Fluff, Holidays, M/M, Snow, fic + art
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 13:44:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8892931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kedgeree/pseuds/kedgeree
Summary: Arthur, Eames, and Yusuf drive through the snow.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kenopsia (indie)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/indie/gifts).



> For Secret Saito (2016, because who knows, maybe we'll do it again next year) for the prompt "driving." I hope you like it, kenopsia!! I went for the bonus Yusuf points. ;-)

"I shall drink mulled wine in blissful _solitude_ by the fireside," Eames says with a vastly affected primness. "I can't imagine what gave you the impression I was inviting you to join me. How dreadfully awkward for you, darling."

"I wasn't—this is _work_." Arthur is spluttering with irritation.

It's been going on for eighty-seven miles.

So far.

Yusuf rolls his eyes and tries to will his earbuds out of their bag in the trunk and into his ears as he scrolls forlornly through his phone's music list.

"Work _at Christmastime_. But color me completely unsurprised that you possess not the smallest bit of holiday spirit or joy."

"Christmas isn't for a week."

"But then why should the holidays be any different to the rest of the—"

"And you don't even know if the cabin has a fucking fireplace, much less a popcorn popper, or pie tins, or a tree stand, or holly—"

"I'll wager I can find some coal for your stocking."

The cabin does actually have a fireplace but Yusuf isn't going to bother mentioning it. Nobody was listening when he said there was a shop where they could buy hot chocolate. Nobody seemed particularly interested in his opinion on eggnog. Nobody bothered paying attention when he read out the latest weather forecast. Because that wasn't important or anything.

"Watch where you're going!"

"Yes, I might have easily struck one of these other…" Eames flings a hand at the empty, snow-covered road in the light from their headlamps. "Oh, look, there _are_ no other cars."

"There's _snow_ , you idiot."

"Oh! There's snow when it's snowing? Thank you, Arthur. However would I manage without your wisdom and guidance?"

Nobody listened when Yusuf read out the forecast and now they're all but creeping along the road in heavily-falling snow and Yusuf is going to be stuck in this car with the Snipe Sisters, the Bicker Brothers, the Twat Twins, the Drama Duo for the bloody _lifetime in Limbo_ it's going to take them to get to the bloody cabin.

He slouches down further into the bucket of the back seat and tosses his phone aside.

Hot chocolate would be nice. With the little marshmallows.

"You want wisdom? Here's some wisdom: those stupid fucking antlers you put on the car do not actually protect us from hazardous road conditions."

"I did not say the _antlers_ would protect us," Eames says with great dignity. "It is the _nose_. Rudolph guides the sleigh by—"

"The _incredibly embarrassing_ antlers and _incredibly embarrassing_ red nose on the car we're driving to _a job_. Color _me_ completely unsurprised that you possess not the smallest bit of _professionalism_."

Or maybe some mince pie. Yusuf could go for some mince pie right now.

"Ooh, I hope there's mistletoe at the cabin," Eames muses mock-dreamily, before his voice sharpens, "so I can position my bright and beautiful arse beneath it for you to kiss."

"Wow, it's been…" Arthur makes a show of checking his watch. "Sixteen minutes since you've mentioned your ass. Is that a record?"

"What it _is,_ is _fascinating_ that you take such a keen interest in my arse-related—"

_"Eames!"_

Yusuf's stomach lurches.

Adrenaline shoots down his arms as the back of the car overtakes the front.

It's a slow spin, though. Almost gentle. A spiraling passage in the adagio movement of a symphony.

Arthur's flung an arm out like he's going to hold Eames in his seat.

One, two rotations, before they come to an uneventful stop on the side of the road, tires crunching softly in snow-covered grass.

"Darling!" Eames lunges across the front seat, patting urgently at Arthur's scarf, his legs, his hair. "Are you all right?"

Arthur's hands are fisted in Eames's coat. His eyes are wide.

Eames's eyes widen, too.

Oh, for God's sake.

"I'm fine," Yusuf mutters. "In case you were wondering."

Nobody seems particularly interested.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you BakerStMel for the beta! <3


End file.
